And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
