My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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