I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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