i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I have aggressive nipples.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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