I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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