so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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