so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
