My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
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