I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
