she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize