dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
