I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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