u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
