Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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