It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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