im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
