The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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