he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
