You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
