Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
