i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
