Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
