He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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