ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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