No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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