i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
