now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
