i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
