i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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