you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
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