You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
