I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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