I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize