in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
the condom got lost in my hair
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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