Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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