she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Still dying that you shit outside
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
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