You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
