She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i think my mom watched the whole time
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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