I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
