So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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