New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
