Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
she smelled like a LAN party
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
