escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize