He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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