my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
