ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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