A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize