My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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