I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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