Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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