I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
