It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
