You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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