Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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