Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
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