Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
