just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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