Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize