Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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