i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
