So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
