TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
